


Maybe I'm Looking for Something I Can't Have [ON HOLD]

by amorettemcsky



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, CEO Lena Luthor, Eventual Smut, F/F, Kara Danvers Has Short Hair, Kara Danvers Has a Penis, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara Danvers Still Has Powers, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Power Bottom Lena Luthor, Sexual Tension, Singer Kara Danvers, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Top Kara Danvers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:27:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23923849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amorettemcsky/pseuds/amorettemcsky
Summary: Note:Hey, I'm so sorry for doing this, but I'm currently focusing on my study, hence why I can't keep up with this one. But, if I do have a one-shot prompt that I feel like I really wanna write, I'd probably still do it. Don't worry, I'm not cutting this one out, I just don't like writing just for the sake of it and just finish the story because I have to. A story IS a story, it's just gotta be good, y'know what I mean? Gotta have a meaning, something to remember by. Anyway, thanks for reading, I love you all, thank you for being patient with me. Cheers!...It was a fairytale, at least for Kara. And then arguments after arguments were all they seemed to have and that included going to bed with their backs on each other. Kara felt desperate and everything seemed falling apart, she could see it clearly. Before it happened, she decided to save herself the complete heartbreak and disappeared. Two years later, blues on stage meet greens in the crowd.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 19
Kudos: 152





	1. Chapter 1

Flickers and flashes of cameras from paparazzi are starting to blind Kara as she poses throughout the red carpet. She's glued in a plain white T-Shirt, a dark blue blazer, a pair of dark blue slacks and a pair of brown brogues, and with her usual messy undercut style, she tries to get it over with without overstimulating her senses. Her sister is already inside the building guiding her through the earpiece she has on. Don't get her wrong, she's happy to be finally there because that means all her hard works are finally paying off. But Kara is still a Kryptonian that holds a huge power from the Earth's yellow sun and even though she's used to it, it doesn't mean she doesn't lose control sometimes.

"Kara, look over here, please!" A paparazzi screams and Kara tries to look over to the nearest source of voice, but there are just too many of them and their voices are blended together. Still, she does her best to give these people her best smile for the cameras.

"You okay, Kar?" Alex's voice calmly asks in her earpiece and Kara nods before realising her sister can't see her.

"Yeah, I'm good. How's inside?" She asks back.

"Oh, you know, our friends are settling just fine. A little too comfortable actually."

"Tell Nia and Winn not to drink all the wine, I need them sober enough to see my performance." Kara chuckles.

"I'm sending daggers at them while we're speaking right now. Where are you right now?"

"I think I'm almost at the entrance, I don't know. Might get another interview and that's it, I hope." Kara sighs.

"Don't sweat, I'm here hoping that wouldn't be the hardest part of tonight, to be honest," Alex says.

"What do you mean?" Kara tilts her head a little before posing back for her fans and the paparazzi.

"You're gonna be singing a very meaningful song that got you crying nonstop for months, you couldn't even sing it properly on stage a few times. Come on, Kar." Without Kara looking, she knows her sister just rolls her eyes. She chuckles at that.

***

 _"_ I know you love her but it's over, mate... _" Kara sang through the microphone with her guitar on her hip, strumming painfully. "_ It doesn't matter, put the phone away. It's never- _" She sobs and her fans scream before continuing her song for her._

 _"_ Let her go... _" She continues albeit the waver in her voice. "_ It'll be alright... _"_

_"We love you, Kara!" Fans scream after the song ends and she smiles a little in gratitude._

_"Thank you, I love you so much, guys." She wipes her face with the back of her hand._

_When the show's over, she's ushered to the back of the stage and outside to her tour bus. Alex walks in soon after and she sighs sympathetically at her sister sitting on the sofa at the lounge, sobbing over_ her. _It's been a little after a year after Kara left and finally pursue her singing career in Hollywood. It was easy to leave National City and Alex would do anything for her sister. Without a word she sits next to Kara and wraps her adoptive sister in her embrace, trying to soothe her as much as she can. They stay like that for what feels like hours until Kara looks up with bloodshot eyes and runny nose._

_"Does it ever get easy, Alex?" She whispers._

_"No," She sighs. "When I got together with Maggie, my heart was ripped out of my chest so she could take care of it. And when we broke up, she never completely gave it back. It was returned in pieces and I don't think it's complete, not anymore."_

_"I really thought you were gonna say something nice to make me feel better, but that response is better." Kara chuckles wetly._

_"Hey, you know me, always the realist." Alex shrugs. "Besides, it's better to hear the harsh truth so you can learn to deal with it rather than the beautiful lies, but then you won't know what to do when the truth's spilled."_

_Kara hums and then says, "Thank you, Alex."_

***

At the entrance of the venue, she's bombarded with a whole lot more fans and suddenly she's pulled to the side by an interviewer with a camera shoved into her face.

"Hi, I'm Emily from Catco!" A redhead says excitedly into the microphone she's holding and then shoves it on Kara's face too.

"Ah, uh, hi, Emily." Kara chuckles. "Did Cat send you?"

"Yes, she did. How'd you know?"

"Oh, you know, we have a relationship to the point we can communicate telepathically." Kara jokes, but the redhead seems to buy it.

"Really?" She asks enthusiastically.

"I'm kidding, Emily. But yes, we're good friends. Besides, she's predictable like that."

"Well, she sent you her regards and asking how you are."

"I'm good, I'm good. How is she? How are you?"

"She's great, but then again, you're good friends, you must know how she is." Emily laughs. "And I'm good, too."

"Well, this is Cat Grant we're talking about." Kara chuckles. "Anyway, what do you wanna ask me?"

After the interview, she's ushered inside and is met with Alex and they both walked into the main wing to join their friends at the designated table. Everyone is there and Kara is so grateful for them and happy to be celebrating this success with them. She's seated in the middle.

"Alright, we have a surprise for you." Alex puts her hands together and looks at Kara excitedly.

"Okay?" Kara smiles in amusement. "What is it?"

Right after, a pair of hands cover her eyes from behind. "Guess who?"

Kara gasps in excitement and gets up quickly to turn around. "Eliza!"

"Kara." The older woman smiles warmly as Kara walks around her chair to hug her. "Congratulations!"

"Well, I'm only performing, I'm sure, but thank you. I missed you! How come I didn't hear your heartbeat?"

"Oh, you know, a little here and there, making Alex distracts you from listening, I'm also wearing a little lead necklace." Eliza chuckles. "Anyway, this is for you." She takes out a little food container from her bag.

"Your pecan pie?! Yes!" Kara almost jumps in happiness as she rips open the lid and shoves the food into her mouth. "Thank you, Eliza."

Kara knows the venue won't allow people to bring food from outside, but she doesn't wanna know how her adoptive mother was able to smuggle her favourite Eliza's special in, she's just happy to be able to eat it after months of not seeing each other. The event starts not long after. Performance after performance on stage and award after award being given to the winners, it's finally time for Kara to sing her song. So she's called backstage and ushered to her dressing room. She's nervous but excited, she's been rehearsing this performance since quite long ago. People around her get busy and change her into a black shirt with top 3 buttons unbuttoned and a white blazer sleeves folded to her elbows, paired with white cropped slacks and a pair of classic old skool Vans. They blow dry her hair to look messier as well and she chuckles when she looks in the full-length mirror. She thinks she looks like a fuckboy, but if that's what gets the ladies moving, she'll happily oblige.

5 minutes later, she and her crew are in positions while she's being introduced to the crowd. "Performing a three-singles mash-up from her debut album called Timeline, we welcome, Kara Danvers!"

The stage gets dark as she struts in toward the microphone stand provided, dancers following behind to bring up the mood. The low melody starts playing and she grips the mic and the spotlight falls on her. The lighting around her illuminating blue and green dancing together in perfect harmony.

 _"Woke up sweating from a dream with a different kind of feeling_  
 _All-day long, my heart was beating, searching for the meaning."_ Kara looks out into the crowd trying to catch her table full of loved ones, but a blur of raven stops her. Her eyes go wide for a split second, but she keeps her composure back. _How in the world she didn’t hear her heartbeat? Could it possibly because it doesn’t sound familiar to her anymore?_

 _"Oh, green eyes, I was so colourblind, we were just wasting time_  
 _Oh, oh, yeah..._ " She looks into the green that she used to know so well once.

_"For my whole life, we never crossed the lines only friends in my mind_   
_But now I realise, it was always you_   
_Can't believe I could not see it all this time, all this time_   
_It was always you..."_

Kara takes the mic along with the stand to the side where there's a high stool with her guitar leaning on it. The lighting changes into black and white as she props herself on the stool and picks her guitar up.

" _And then you say you make a dumb mistake_  
 _You start to tremble and your voice begins to break_  
 _You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's_  
 _They were my mate's and I feel the colour draining from my face..._ " Kara tries not to cry, not again, she's sung this song way too many times on stage, she's perfected the way she performs this song, but a pair of certain green eyes are in the crowd.

" _But nothing heals the past like time_  
 _And they can't steal the love you're born to find_  
 _But nothing heals the past like time_  
 _And they can't steal the love you're born to find,_ " She strums beautifully while trying to hold her sobs.

" _I know you love her, but it's over, mate_  
 _It doesn't matter, put the phone away_  
 _It's never easy to walk away, let her go_  
 _It'll be okay_  
 _It's gonna hurt for a bit of time_  
 _So bottoms up, let's forget tonight_  
 _You'll find another and you'll be just fine_  
 _Let her go_ " A tear finally drops down her right cheek and she wipes it quickly as she stands up and puts down her guitar, then she runs back to the centre of the stage with her microphone. 

" _It never fades away, it's staying  
_ _Your kiss like broken glass on my skin._ " She starts the last song as the dance crew take position around her.

" _And all the greatest loves end in violence._  
 _It's tearing up my voice, left in silence.  
_ _'Cause, baby, it hit so hard, I'm holding on to my chest.  
_ _Maybe you left your mark, reminding me to forget.  
_ _It doesn't matter where you are, you can keep my regret.  
_ _Baby, I got these scars, reminding me to forget._ " She sings and then dances along with her backup as the chorus plays.

" _Remember I told you._  
 _To save it, it's over._  
 _And I'll be alright._  
 _So hurt me as much as you like._  
 _I need you to let go._  
 _I got these mementos._  
 _And I'll be alright.  
_ _Baby, it hit so hard, holding on to my chest  
_ _Maybe you left your mark, reminding me to forget  
_ _It doesn't matter where you are, you can keep my regret  
_ _Baby, I got these scars, reminding me to forget..._ " She holds her chest as the end of her performance comes and she bows down before panting away the exhaustion, it finally kicks in.

"Thank you, thank you." She sighs onto the microphone as the emcees approach her.

"Kara Danvers with her three-singles mash-up, everyone!" And on cue, everyone claps loudly and some screams on the top of their lungs.

"Thank you," Kara says once more.

"How are you feeling?" The female emcee asks.

"Great! Amazing! Excited for this opportunity, was very nervous, but excited. Everyone worked so hard on their performance and I couldn't be more thankful." Kara smiles.

"You've been on the industry for almost two years now, how do you feel about this journey?"

"Excited! I can't wait to work on new songs and if possible, meet artists that I admire and work with them."

"I saw you crying on the second song earlier, tell me, Kara, what is the meaning of this debut album of yours?" The male emcee asks and Kara almost chokes in memories.

"As you guys know, it's called Timeline. Each song is a journey of my love life at a certain time in the past and Be Alright happens to be the most hurtful and meaningful to me." Kara explains nonchalantly, she's told this exact reason so many times it just comes naturally.

"Is the whole album about one person only?" Kara wants to cry at the question. Sure she's been asked this before, but at all those times, she dodged them.

She takes a deep breath as her brain goes to a certain raven-haired in the crowd and she wants nothing more than this moment to be over. "I've always dodged this exact question for almost a year, even before the album was released. But yes, Timeline is about one person only."

"There you go, folks! You got your answer." The female emcee says and fans scream in unison, but one scream stands out the most. "Who dared to hurt you like that, Kara? Let me fight her!"

Kara gasps and then chuckles after, "No, please, don't fight her. She might not be able to fight you physically, but she'll screw you up in other ways. But seriously, you guys, I don't condone violence."

"That's some loyal fans you have." The guy emcee laughs. "Anyway, once again, Kara Danvers, everyone!"

"Thank you so much!" Kara says onto the mic as she waves at the crowd walking to the backstage.

She walks back into the dressing room, changes into her previous outfit and grabs her phone. She walks out by the back entrance and into the darkness of the alley, then she flies back to her apartment. She sends Alex a text telling her whereabouts before sinking into her super comfortable couch. She puts on Netflix on the huge TV in front of her and clicks on Howl's Moving Castle. She decides to pause the movie to make popcorn and grabs some sodas from the fridge.

Almost at the end of the movie, she hears a familiar heartbeat from the lobby of her apartment building and she sighs. She kind of wants to be alone at the moment, but she knows her sister won't leave her alone unless she's being very persistent about it. A few minutes later, she could hear the taps of shoes coming out of the elevator and she sighs, bracing herself of what her sister might say.

"What were you thinking? You actually won the New Artist of the Year and they got confused because you weren't there, I had to come up there as your representative." Alex sinks herself down on the spot right next to Kara and put an arm behind her.

"She was there," Kara mumbles quietly.

"So that gave you a reason to run away?" Alex tilts her head.

"I don't know. I panicked." Kara shrugs, eyes still pretending to focus on the movie.

"Kar..." Alex sighs. "It's been what? Two years?"

"Two years, three months, nine days," Kara says, then looks at the wall clock on top of the TV. "Five hours or so."

"That's... very detailed," Alex replies, wide-eyed. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know. I just don't know, okay? When it comes to her, I just..." Kara sighs deeply.

"Maybe... just maybe, you need closure?" Alex rubs her back in circles.

"Rao, I don't even know if I can face her."

"I'm not forcing you, it's just a suggestion. But what I'm gonna tell you is that we have to get up because we can't stay here. Everyone's waiting back at the tour buses already."

Kara's brain finally catches up and she sighs. Right, she's going on tour around the US and Canada for her new album, and this award show is basically the first pit stop after her first show here in LA. She sighs and turns the TV off, then follows her sister out. She flies them both in the darkness of the night back to the parking lot where the award show was held, they enjoy the stargazing in the process. They land back at the alley where Kara flew off earlier and they run towards the parking lot, there's a single silhouette waiting by Kara and Alex's tour bus. The familiar heartbeat hits Kara, so she stops in her track and Alex puts the pieces together.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" She offers. Kara's brain goes into overdrive, contemplating what her next move is going to be. After all these years, what could she possibly want? Kara's suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the sadness that's engulfing within her.

"N-no, I... I'll do it. You go on ahead, give us five." Kara sighed. She takes a deep breath and puts her head up trying to be strong on whatever's going to go down between her and Lena.

When they're nearing their designated bus, Alex steps toward the door but gives Kara a look once more in worry but at the same time, that look is giving her support and strength. Kara nods in gratitude and steps closer to her ex-girlfriend. Lena finally turns around at the sound of her steps and Kara swears her eyes looks so beautiful under the moonlight. Her breath catches in her throat for a split second before she looks down, neither knows what to say. Lena has her arms crossed, not that businesswoman-mode-on type of crossed arms, more like hugging one-self to protect themselves type of crossed-arms. Kara starts swaying slowly at the awkwardness, she's considering to just get on the bus and leave before she regrets this. She is regretting this right now.

"Kara," "Lena," They say at the same time.

"You go first," "You go first," They do it again.

Kara had to refrain from chuckling, because, really, this situation is just funny. How could it not?

***

_"Hey," "Hi," They greet each other at the same time and then chuckle._

_"So... what brings you here?" Kara asks, she's currently reading._

_They're at a cliff at the nearest beach from their school where every student from her school would go to whether it's for parties, campings, campfire nights or just casual hangouts. Even some people would just sit under palm trees to read and study. But this cliff, it's a secluded area with a difficult pathway to go through and definitely confusing for people. When she first found the spot, it was when she was sixteen, around sophomore year. She saw it from afar, it was sunset and she flew towards it discreetly. It had been her spot ever since, to destress and to read and study, sometimes just observing people on the beach. She also kind of already built a special spot for her to rest, a makeshift hammock from a blanket she stole from home. And if Eliza noticed one of her blankets was gone along with a little metal suitcase fit for around ten medium-sized books if organised well, she didn't mention anything. And when Kara asked her for an oil lantern, she also didn't question it, she just took one out from the dusty shed they have at their backyard and gave it to her. So, all in all, Kara had made herself a little hideaway and it became a little sanctuary from everything._

_"I guess I was just walking around without a certain destination, so here I am now." Lena shrugs._

_"I... can see that," Kara looks her up and down, "It's quite a walk, though."_

_"Yeah, it was." Lena shrugs and sits down next to Kara on the hammock. "I didn't know this spot was here."_

_"Oh, yeah, it's very rare for people to get here. Mostly because the path is closed off by the plants and trees, so I guess they just give up going up here." Kara says, finally putting her book down on top of the suitcase._

_"So you made a hideout here. It's pretty cool." Lena smiles._

_"Yeah, I honestly thought it'd be secure enough, but after two years, here you are," Kara says._

_"Wow, that's pretty mean."_

_"I'm kidding. You're welcome here." Kara chuckles. "What's your name?" I'm Kara."_

_"Lena."_

_"So, what brings you here, Lena?"_

_"It's dumb, don't worry about it." Lena giggles and Kara thinks it's adorable._

_"If you're here, it's not dumb. But if you just simply don't wanna talk about it, I understand." Kara smiles warmly._

_"Thanks," Lena says and sends a little smile to Kara. "What were you reading?"_

_"Oh, The Gravity Between Us by Kristen Zimmer," Kara says and picks up the book._

_"Oh? I've never heard of it." Lena leans over Kara's shoulder to see the cover._

_"It's a contemporary romance, lesbian literature."_

_"Interesting," Lena takes it from Kara's hand. "Are you gay?"_

_"Proudly." Kara laughs._

_"Nice, I'm bi." Lena hums as she skims over a few pages._

_"I've never seen you around here before. What school do you go to?"_

_"Boarding school in Ireland. I'm here just for the summer. I'm staying in that mansion in the middle of this mountain with a killer view of the other side of the sea."_

_"That's very detailed, but the Luthor's mansion? You're Lena Luthor?" Kara asks and Lena nods._

_Kara wonders why on earth would a daughter from a very wealthy family escape to a place like this, totally unprepared by the lack of hiking outfit and belongings. She pays attention to the girl she just met from her dark hair to her beautiful and sharp laurel green eyes, sharp nose, perfectly sculpted lips, a jaw that is going to be sharp as she gets older, Kara's sure of that. She travels down to Lena's neck, the little freckle she has right in the middle and Kara thinks it's cute._

_"Stop staring." Lena suddenly says before side-eyeing her._

_"I'm not. Just taking you in. I just met you after all." Kara shrugs. "How old are you?"_

_"Fifteen."_

_"What?! Give me that book right now!" Kara snatches the book and puts it back in the suitcase. "That's not for you, not yet."_

_"Really?" Lena raises an eyebrow, it's so sexy it makes Kara swallow a hard pill. "And what about you?"_

_"Miss Luthor, I am eighteen and a senior. I'm an adult." Kara says a matter-of-factly._

_"I'm a senior, too. Don't flatter yourself." Lena laughs._

_"That's... impressive." Kara mumbles._

_"It's really not when your family is a bunch of perfectionists," Lena sighs._

_"Is that why you wanted to escape for a while?"_

_"Ding, ding, ding, winner, winner, chicken dinner!" Lena says._

_"Very funny." Kara rolls her eyes._

_"Sorry," Lena chuckles. "But yeah, don't get it wrong, my family is crazy but they're still good people. They're just a freak when it comes to academic and money."_

_"Wow." Kara doesn't really know what to say._

_"Well, I gotta go back. It's getting dark, see you when I see you, hideaway partner."_

_"You're not gonna make it, it's gonna be too dark very soon." Kara doesn't know what made her say that, but there's something about Lena. A pickle of mystery she wants to solve._

_"So, you wanna walk me home, Miss... ?"_

_"It's Danvers, Kara Danvers." Kara smiles bashfully. "And... not exactly. Do you trust me?"_

_"I don't know, Miss Danvers. I just met you after all." Lena smirks._

_"Oh, come on. I'm not a murderer, I promise."_

_"Well, you're still an adult and I'm a minor, so..."_

_"Oh, so, you're gonna pull that card? Okay, good luck on your way down, Miss Luthor." Kara shrugs and lies back down on her hammock._

_Kara feels Lena turn around and see their surrounding, the plants and trees make the way down even darker and Lena's sure she'll get lost without lighting, she sighs and Kara knows she won._

_"Okay, please, walk me down, Miss Danvers."_

_"Now, now, was that so hard, Miss Luthor?" Kara chuckles. "Come on."_

_Kara grabs Lena's hand and walks them towards the edge. She feels Lena tenses at the height._

_"You okay?" Kara asks._

_"Y-yeah. But I thought you were gonna walk me home?"_

_"Do you trust me?" Kara asks it again and Lena turns her head to fully look at the blonde. Greens are looking at the intensity and warmth and sincerity in blues and she nods quietly. Kara smiles and puts her arms around the younger girl and jumps off. And Lena screams._

_"As shitty as my life seems, this was not what I had in mind today, Miss Danvers! We're going to die!" Lena yells and grasps Kara's shirt so hard, she's sure it'll rip. "As cruel as my adoptive mother seems to be, she's actually kinda caring and kind. Oh, God, I would never admit that ever in my life!"_ _As Lena freaks out, Kara just lets out a huge laugh before levitating slowly and fly toward a more secluded area where no one on the ground can see them._

_"Do you... wanna open your eyes?" Kara asks softly._

_"No!" Lena shakes her head hard._

_"Lena, open your eyes, please." Kara chuckles. Lena does, slowly, and then she lets out a huge gasp. Kara looks at her with a warm and amused smile while Lena gathers her thought and breathing. Then she slowly lets go of Kara's shirt and put her hands on Kara's shoulders instead._

_"Do you impress anyone you meet by flying them off, Miss Danvers?" Lena asks, her breath's still unsteady._

_"No, my family would kill me if I did. You're the first, you should be honoured, Miss Luthor." Kara smiles. "Do you want me to fly you home or do you wanna do a little bit of stargazing?"_

_***_

They both know they're thinking of that same memory with each respective side. Kara sighs and leans on the bus. That was 7 years ago, oh, how time flies. There's a rift now between them, it's odd, Kara thinks. They were used to be glued to each other before everything, they were best friends, they were like soulmates and it all happened between that one summer. Even when Kara left for NCU and Lena for MIT, they're still in contact, Kara would always fly to Lena every weekend and they would hide in the warmth of Lena's apartment, snuggle on the couch, eat dinner, watch movies and eat snacks until late, then Kara would leave on Sunday nights.

"What are you doing here, Lena?" Kara finally speaks up, but her tone isn't harsh, it's a sincere question.

"I..." There's hesitation in Lena's eyes, "I'm not sure either." Kara sighs again, softly this time. Lena looks even more stunning at age 22, she finally shows that sharp jaw Kara has always thought would be a killer, she's even curvier and that does things to Kara. It still _fucking_ does. On top of that, Lena's wearing a skin-tight maroon décolleté dress with a long black goose feather scarf around her neck and a pair of Louboutins on her feet. She also has her hair down and wavy. So, yes, of course, it does things to Kara. It would still do things to her even if Lena was wearing a rice sack because Lena is simply beautiful like that, not because of the materials she stamps on herself. But tonight is just like that night, the night where Kara has to simply refuse and not fall for this trap again.

"Well, if there's nothing important to say, I'll be going." Kara pushes herself from the bus and starts making her way towards the door.

"W-Wait!" Lena softly calls out and Kara stops in her track, waiting for any words to come out of her ex-lover's mouth.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, I'm sorry for betraying your trust, I'm sorry for everything I've done. I-" Lena chokes back a sob, "I'm getting married soon."

Kara's heart stops at the revelation, it shouldn't affect her this much, in fact, it shouldn't at all. "Why- Why are you telling me this?" Her voice wavers.

"I don't know... I guess I wanted closure?" Lena chuckles wetly. "God, I sound so stupid. I just... I miss you." 

There it is.

And an ungodly amount of sadness envelops Kara, she can't cry, not now. "I don't know what you want me to say, Lena. I forgave you a long time ago. Your love life shouldn't be my concern, not anymore. So, I hope you're happy with whoever it is, I hope they're able to give you whatever it was that I couldn't." And without looking back, Kara continues her steps towards the door.

"I've never even met him!" Lena cries. "Since Lionel died, Lillian becomes so ruthless. She arranged a marriage between me and some businessman I don't fucking know!"

It takes everything in her power not to turn around, wrap her arms around Lena and fly off to somewhere no one would find them. Kara didn't know Lionel had passed away, she knows Lena's family is obsessed with money and power, but her heart hurts hearing Lena crying like this because she's stuck in a relationship her adoptive mother set her into. But at the same time, she doesn't know what to do but she finally turns around to face Lena.

"Lena-" "No! Please, I just- I don't need words right now, I just want you to listen." Lena cuts her off and at that moment, the first drop of rain finally comes down and it turns harder each passing second.

"That day was the worst day of my life, I've been in such a dark place trying to reach for an exit and I know you had been there for me, always. But somehow they're always in my head and they keep on pulling me down in my own sorrow. And I was too busy being such a hurtful person that I didn't recognise you under the light reaching and calling my name to come to you, to be finally free from the darkness and be safe in your arms. Lionel's death and Lillian and Lex's spiteful words blinded me from you and I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back, I wish I could have you back. I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know that. And I think... I think we won't be able to see each other again, so I had to see you, just one last time, and to say goodbye. And also I wanna thank you, for being the best thing that ever happened in my life, you still are. I... love you, Kara, I _still_ fucking do. Good luck in your journey, I hope you find someone better along the way." Lena sobs before walking away towards her limousine, her chauffeur offers her a coat which she takes and wraps it around her before getting in the car swiftly.

Kara still stands there, dumbfounded, as the limousine goes out of the parking lot and into the dark highway. There's something in her telling that the goodbye Lena told isn't the goodbye she thinks Lena was telling her, it's more of personal goodbye, not to her, but to herself. So Kara takes off, following the black car where her ex-lover sits in.


	2. Chapter 2

Kara has been following Lena for hours and it's almost sunrise, she followed her past National City and towards Midvale. Realisation dawns on her, Lena's going to their hideout. The vibration of her phone for the hundredth time still doesn't budge her, she's worried of Lena. When they arrived at the Luthor's Mansion, Lena slips away into the forest and up the mountain, Kara still tailing from above. Now, Kara admits, she hasn't been here for such a long time, approximately around 3 years or so. She sees Lena sits on the hammock for a few minutes, then she goes to stand by the edge. Kara's heart throbs at how gorgeous Lena looks at sunrise with the wind blowing softly against her face, but Lena looks so upset. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy and her nose is runny. Kara lands softly behind her.

"Lena." She whispers, afraid of her own voice.

The raven-haired gasp as she turns around and she slips on one foot on the edge and begins falling backwards. Kara widens her eyes and gasps before using her super-speed to catch her.

"Kara." Lena breathes as she puts her hands on Kara's shoulders. "T-Thank you." Kara spins around and puts Lena down as she's now the one by the edge.

"It was my fault, I'm sorry," Kara mumbles as she checks Lena's being and then looks up to greens that now are reflecting the sunlight and Kara sighs as she melts by the beauty of the woman from her past.

_'Cause you don't know that if the world was on fire, I'd fight it for you._

"What are you-" "I didn't wanna leave you alone," Kara cuts her off with a whisper. "You're upset and you always do some stupid and impulsive stuff when you're hurt."

"Thank you." Lena whispers. She keeps on looking at Kara in such close proximity with hope and regret in her beautiful green eyes.

"Come with me," Kara whispers back.

"What?"

"Run from home, Lena. I'll keep you safe." Kara says.

"Why- Why would you do that?" Lena sobs.

"Is there a need for a reason?"

Lena cries harder as she buries her face in Kara's neck and Kara rubs circles on her back. And Kara thinks she's crazy for offering that. They stay like that for a while before Kara brings Lena over to the hammock and lies them down on it, like old times.

***

_"There, you see that one star over there? That's Krypton." Kara says while pointing at the significant star that is one of the remains of her planet. They're snuggling on the hammock, but really, it's more like Lena's lying on top of Kara with her head in the crook of Kara's neck._

_"I can't even imagine the pain, Kara. I lost my mother when I was four, but you lost a whole planet. How do you... how do I say this? Keep it together?" Lena asks as she trails circles with a finger on Kara's chest._

_"It doesn't get easier, to tell you the truth." Kara mumbles. "I still get nightmares about it sometimes. It was hard arriving here at first. Alex hated me and I'm pretty sure she blamed me for Jeremiah's disappearance. But there's really nothing I can do about it. Besides, we're good now, we actually found a way to connect."_

_"Tell me more." Lena smiles against Kara's chest listening to her story._

_"English was hard," Kara says. "Kal couldn't even understand me because he grew up here, but I somehow learned it just fine. Eliza and Jeremiah helped a lot since they did a lot of research and they were so patient."_

_"Do you miss them?" Lena whispers._

_"Who?"_

_"Your parents, friends, your planet."_

_"I do. Everyday." Kara sighs. "But I've learned to live with it. I'm sure my parents want me to live my life, I mean, they sent me here in a pod after all."_

_"And you got stuck in the phantom zone for twenty-four years. Jeez, you're a grandma already." Lena giggles._

_"Wow, that hurts." Kara pouts. "But you're exaggerating! Let's see, I'm eighteen now, then my real age is forty-two. I should be just fine!"_

_"Jesus, I'm lying on top of a forty-two years old lady."_

_"I'm gonna drop you if you keep that up," Kara says._

_"Well, I dare you, then." Lena raises an eyebrow and Kara pouts again. "Thought so."_

_"Teach me a word." Lena suddenly says._

_"In Kryptonese?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"What do you wanna know?"_

_"Any word."_

_"Zhureiao." Kara smiles._

_"Means?"_

_"Beautiful."_ Like you.

_"Zhureiao. Beautiful." Lena repeats. "I like the sound of that."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yeah."_

***

"Where the hell have you- What is she doing here?" Alex's tone isn't harsh, more like a pure shock reaction. They're already in San Diego for the next show when Kara and Lena just snuck in.

"It's a long story," Kara says. "What did you tell everyone?"

"Well, I have all the time in the world. And I told everyone you're hiding in your bunk already and to not be disturbed, like always when you go out flying."

"I'm sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to make you worried. I just had to-" "Had to what? Babysit her again?" This time her tone is, indeed, harsh as she sends daggers to Lena with her eyes.

"Can you just- Ugh! Hear me out for a second!" 

"Okay, let's all sit down and hear your very rational decision." Alex sits down on the sofa with a puff. "Come on."

"Can we-" Kara stops herself, trying to reconstruct her question to be gentler so her sister won't be mad at her. "Can Lena stay with us? For the time being. I'll tell you the whole story, but can we let her rest?"

"Lena, you're welcome to take one of the bunk beds here. As much as I hate you for what you did, you're still family, you know." Alex says softly and Lena's eyes widen at the statement.

"T-Thank you, Alex." She replies quietly and walks to the back of the bus.

"So?" Alex crosses her arms as she taps a foot on the floor, waiting for Kara's elaboration.

And ten minutes later, a "Are you kidding me?" comes out of her mouth.

Kara and Alex keep on discussing over Lena's situation, trying to come up with a solution. Alex jokes about Kara eloping with Lena to keep Lillian away from her adoptive daughter's love life. And Kara thinks hard at that while Alex is still laughing at her own joke. But the moment she sees her sister's expression, she shoves her hard while Kara lets her.

"You're not considering that, are you?" Alex's eyes are bulging out of their sockets.

"I mean, we don't always have to do it for real. We can play in the publication." Kara shrugs.

"And what do we tell the big boss? Huh?" Alex shakes her head on this bad idea. "She'll smell the lie a mile away, dumbass."

"Forge the documents, you're great at badass stuff. It's time to shine, Lexie." Kara wriggles her eyebrows trying to be funny and Alex groans in annoyment.

"No, not happening. She'll find out, too, and I'll get fired from this managing position."

"Alex, cut it out. You also work at the DEO because of me." Kara sighs. "Then just make it for real, easy."

"Then that means you're gonna be eloped with Lena for real, dumba-" "Don't you think I don't know that? If that's what's gonna help her out of this bad situation, I will do it." Kara protests.

"Jeez, you're still so whipped, Kar." Alex chuckles.

"Again, don't you think I don't know that?" Kara raises her eyebrows, her expression saying "Duh!"

Kara stands up with a huff and leaves her annoying sister for her significant bunk bed only to find Lena standing in the hallway looking sheepish. Kara chuckles, she knows Lena heard all that, she's not ashamed of it.

"So... picked a bunk yet?" Kara asks. "There are four bunks, two on top each other on each side, that's why we've got almost equally big spaces on the back lounge and the living room. The bathroom's quite big, too, I mean, it's comfortable, I guess. We even have a tub. Hey, I can give you a speed tour, if you want?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," Lena speaks so softly, still clutching to her coat.

"Are you cold? I can turn up the heater, so you don't have to clutch on to your coat so much." Kara smiles as she goes near the heater to turn it up.

"T-Thanks, Kara." Lena sighs as she takes her coat off and puts it in the lower empty bunk. "Why didn't you take the lower bunk like your sister?"

"We're sick of looking at each other when we go to sleep and when we wake up even though there are sliding doors to cover the bunks. Besides, I can just fly up, easy." 

"Right." Lena chuckles, _of course, that makes sense_.

Kara starts the tour from the back lounge which consists of some stuff from a recording studio for Kara to play around with and when she's in her writing streak, then there's a foldable king bed and varieties of game consoles and a huge plasma TV. Kara shows Lena the bathroom next, there are a separate shower cubicle and a bathtub, a toilet and a counter with a sink and mirror. They pass the bunk beds and to the main lounge a.k.a the living room and kitchenette, Alex nowhere to be seen.

"I asked them to remove the dining table and add more stuff for the kitchenette because a sink, a small fridge and a microwave is not a kitchen. Now we have a normal-sized fridge and an additional stove plus oven." Kara says then she opens the fridge, "This, is where we stash our liquor, some are alien alcohol for me."

Kara shows Lena that the sofa has a wine cooler and that it's a pullover bed, she manages to pull the underside of the sofa and lies on top of it with a huge grin. There's a stack of fluffy blankets on the side, Kara says it's for movie night and game night with her sister. Sometimes she even flies some of her friends in just because. "And then there's the driver seat there and a shotgun seat, you know, when you wanna bug Hank." Kara chuckles.

"Hank?"

"Our driver guy, he's a ball of sunshine. Don't tell him I told you that." Kara laughs this time and Lena thinks about how carefree she looks compares to how she was back then, like a new leaf, a better version of the old carefree Kara. They never did get their closure and Lena realises that this is the time they finally get to be around each other. So sooner or later, they're going to have that talk and Lena doesn't want to think about that right now, she just wants to get to know Kara again and for Kara to know her now.

"I'm sorry, Kara. For everything." And of course, her mouth betrays her.

Kara stops laughing, her eyebrows are up and eyes wide, clearly not expecting this conversation any time soon. She's frozen for a second before sighing.

"You know, I already told you I forgave you a long time ago, Lena. The only person you have to forgive right now is yourself and I'm here for you, always. We've hurt each other, yes, but-" "You never hurt me, Kara. I did that to myself and to you." Lena cuts her off.

"No, I hurt you, too. By leaving." Kara sighs deeper and pats the spot next to her softly. "I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have given up on you. It was a terrible, terrible mistake. And I so regret it that I wish I could fix it somehow. But it's in the past and we can't do anything about that. All we've got is now, the present."

The first drop of tear rolls down Lena's cheek that day and she nods softly as she takes a seat next to the blonde. The only person who's ever believed in her tuns out still believes in her after all this time and that makes her hopeful somehow. It makes her believe she can be a better version of herself. Suddenly Kara pulls her into a hug, it's so warm that Lena starts sobbing quietly into her shoulder.

"Would you let me help you?" Kara whispers while rubbing circles on her back.

"Y-Yes, please." Lena cries a little harder at the offer.

"Okay, good, that's great." Kara tries to stifle her sniffles, but she cries harder nonetheless. 

When Lena starts to fall asleep cuddled into her on the pullover bed, Kara lets her be. _She's exhausted, this must take a toll on her especially after all those horrible stuff that got her into the dark_ , Kara thinks. Kara glances over the small digital clock in the wall by the TV, it's showing 07:43 AM, and she closes her eyes to let sleep take over.

She wakes up by a gentle shake Alex gives her and she immediately looks up to the clock, 01:25 PM. So she shimmies herself slowly to untangle herself from a clutching Lena in her arms to go do a mic check. Also to get some food into her system and maybe bring some back to the bus for Lena as well.

"Hey, your Big Belly Burger order is here," Alex says while strutting in on the stage half an hour later, she's holding two huge bags of food.

"Really? Thanks, Alex! Take what's yours because I'm gonna go eat with Lena." Kara shoves the mic back to the stand and meets Alex halfway. The redhead doesn't question it as she takes her burger and fries, but she gives Kara an amused look.

Kara almost speed-walked toward her tour bus feeling giddy to be spending time with Lena. When she enters the bus, she can hear the calm beating of Lena's heart in the bathroom, so she prepares the food in the living room and waits. Around ten minutes later, she hears Lena finishing her bath and walking out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. She gasps quietly at the sight before moving her sight elsewhere.

"I don't think Kara would appreciate me rummaging her stuff, I'll just wear what I had on earlier," Lena mumbles to herself as she steps into the bunk hallway.

"No, it's okay, Lena, you can wear my clothes," Kara says and Lena jumps as she turns around to see Kara in the living room. And her towel falls down.

"Eek!" Kara's squeal is heard through the whole bus and she turns around.

"K-Kara!" Lena picks her towel up to cover herself. "I didn't know you were here."

"I'm- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay, Kara. And thank you for lending me your clothes." Lena smiles shyly even though Kara can't see her. She quickly grabs a new pair of underwear, a pair of sweatpants and Kara's NCU sweatshirt. Kara slaps her own forehead after hearing Lena gets in the bathroom again to change, but deep down she feels giddy.

"Ugh, stop it Zor-El. This is not the time." She mumbles and throws herself back to the sofa.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Panic/Anxiety Attack

_"I hope you know what you're doing, Danvers. Else, my mother will kill me if I messed up the kitchen." Lena yells from the living room preparing movies. It's one of those lucky days when everyone is gone for "business trips" that doesn't include Lena, though now she doesn't have to sulk anymore ever since Kara entered her life._

_"Don't worry, I have a helper here,_ _" Kara yells back, giggling right after._

_"If by helper you mean your so trustworthy AI called Siri or Alexa, dear God, help me." Lena's tone doesn't have any bite, instead, she laughs while finally decides to see for herself what the blonde is doing._

_Kara is dancing by the stove and holding a pan, she's frying some frozen potstickers for their dinner. All of a sudden the fire goes up covering the whole pan as Kara shakes the pan for better coverage to all of the potstickers._

_"Was it supposed to do that?" Lena gasps as she walks closer to Kara. "And please, turn on the exhaust fan." Lena reaches the switch by Kara's shoulder and chuckles._

_"I didn't know you could cook, to be honest," Lena says, now leaning by the counter._

_"I can't. I was flexing on that one." Kara laughs." I can only do basic stuff like cooking eggs, instant noodles, and making sandwiches. This? Do you know how many attempts I did to perfect it? I burned a hell of a lot of potstickers and pans! I was so mad one time I laser-eyed the pan and exploded the whole stove. The one who got mad was Alex instead of Eliza."_

_"That makes sense. From what I heard, Alex is like fire. So, I imagine that she plays bad cop when your adoptive mother plays good cop. Like... all the time."_

_"How'd you know that?" Kara's eyes are wide with surprise._

_"I didn't. I know you." Lena smiles warmly and Kara's heart swells in happiness. "Anyway, the pizzas are almost ready. You didn't mess around with them while I was preparing the movie, did you?" Lena squints her eyes suspiciously but playfully at the same time._

_"Wha-" Kara gasps, "Is that really where you draw the line of your trust in me? I would never! You know how much I love pizza!" Kara pouts as she put the cooked potstickers on a plate. "_ _Anyway, what movie did you pick?" Kara asks then giggles at their banter and Lena does too._

_"Just Go With It," Lena says. "I'm feeling Jen Anniston tonight."_

_"Rao, she's so gorgeous," Kara says a bit dreamily.  
_

_"Really?" Lena smirks, so they're going to have this conversation, huh._

_"Honestly, she doesn't really age, I mean, she ages, but like... beautifully, you know. Like wine."_

_"That's your type?" Lena tilts her head._

_And the next thing, the alarm on the oven goes off, so Kara pulls open the oven and takes out the pizzas and smiles at Lena before answering, "Not really. I'm more into a darker hair type of girls. I mean, I don't wanna sound stereotypical since I'm blonde, but dark-haired girls are just... phew." Kara fakes wipe sweat from her forehead with a smile._

_"Oh?" Lena raises her eyebrows as she takes the big plate of potstickers and a pizza cutter, then follows Kara into the living room, who's holding two trays of pizzas with bare hands. "Like who?"_

_"You," Kara mumbles ever so quietly._

_"What was that?" Lena asks, putting the plate on the coffee table._

_"Oh, it's nothing." Kara shrugs._

_"So, you said your type is dark-haired girls, but there's no example?"_

_"I mean, celebrities? Sure, there's a few I have a crush on."_

_"Humour me, Danvers."_

_"I mean... there's Sandra Bullock from Miss Congeniality, Jenna Dewan from Step Up, Shay Mitchell from Pretty Little Liars, Meghan Markle from Suits, and Jennifer Connelly from He's Just Not That into You." Kara chuckles while rubbing her neck nervously._

_"If you had to pick one?"_

_"Jennifer, definitely. She's just so... elegant and poise and..." Kara huffs. "She's damn hot. The contrast of her hair and her eyes, they mix so well."_

_"Huh..." Lena thinks as she discreetly searches Jennifer Connelly from her safari. Jet black hair and green eyes, the same shade as Lena's. Unconsciously she starts blushing and smiles as her heart warms up at the thought._

_"Lena?" Kara's voice snaps her out of her thought._

_"Uh, yeah?"_

_"Can we start the movie now?"_

_"Yeah, of course." Lena smiles as she takes the pizza cutter and starts cutting._

_***_

"So, when I perform later tonight, do you wanna stay here or watch me backstage? I mean, I personally think it's better to come with me since you'll be alone if you decided to stay on the bus. But I know you love being alone because you like to read or come up with new science project in your head. So, really, it's up to-" " Kara." Lena cuts Kara's rambling.

"Y-Yes?" Kara stutters and smiles awkwardly.

"Calm down. I'll go with you and watch you perform." Lena chuckles.

"Oh, okay, that's cool. Cool, cool, cool." Kara rubs her neck again and Lena knows she's nervous.

"You don't have to be nervous, Kara. It's just me." Lena raises her eyebrows and smiles.

"Y-Yeah, I know." Kara sighs. "I know." _No biggie, Kara, you're just singing songs about your ex while she's there, it's cool._

"So, what time do you perform?"

"At eight. I'll tell Alex to give you a pass later." Kara says. "Anyway, I wanna talk to you about your situation."

"Right." Lena looks down, dreading this conversation since the morning.

"I wanna help you, Lena, I really do. But I don't wanna do it for free."

"What- What do you mean?" Lena's mind is going a hundred mile a second at the thought of paying Kara for helping her.

"It's not what you think. I don't want money as the payment, I want you to attend therapy. Officially." Kara puts a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "And I will be there for you every step of the way."

The thought of going to therapy scares her. She's not very good at talking about her feelings or what she's thinking. All the pain and betrayals and abandonment from her adoptive mother and half-brother kills her every time she thinks about it. That's why she always runs away from it, puts them in little boxes and push them away into the deepest pit of her thoughts and wishes they would go away and be forgotten somehow. But every time she tries to do it and thinks she's going to succeed in doing so, another thing would remind her and she would go into a pit of darkness, like every time when Lillian got angry at her without any reason and she would be locked in the attic of a huge mansion without any lighting. All she could hear was the beating of her heart and her breathing going up and up and up and she's always not sure how she gets to take them back down on a grounding level. Until Kara. And then Kara was gone. No one to keep her safe.

Without realising, she starts to hyperventilate and she feels her blood rushes even faster, her mind running about a million things, sweats started forming on her forehead. She closes her eyes tightly and grits her teeth, desperately trying to find her grounding.

"Hey, hey, Lena, lookie here, I'm here. Breathe with me, Lee." Kara's voice is soothing and calming and Lena can feel her hand on her shoulders as she tries to calm her down. She slowly opens her teary green eyes to look at blue eyes that seems like a bountiful seas and Lena thinks she's more than happy to drown in them. "Slowly, Lee. Follow my breathing."

Lena follows Kara's breathing and slowly calms down. It's overwhelming, thinking the only person who ever believed in her turns out still does and willingly help her to get better. It's just too much and the next thing happens, she's sobbing and she's crying harder and harder. "I'm- I'm sorry, K-Kara. I didn't... mean to cry." Lena hiccups.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, I'm getting that you must be overwhelmed at this." Kara sighs understandings. "Come here." Kara opens her arms, motioning Lena to snuggle closer. It's uncomfortable to snuggle side by side and Kara sighs at that, so she puts her hands slowly under Lena's thighs. She picks her up carefully and puts Lena on her lap in a straddling position, facing her. She pulls Lena in her embrace and Lena hides her face in the crook of Kara's neck. Kara then starts rubbing circles on Lena's back to soothe her. Lena sighs as she secretly thinks that she missed Kara's smell so bad. Little does she knows, the blonde thinks the same. Time seems to stop and they fall asleep in that position.

***

"Hey, Kara, you've been in there for ho... urs..." Alex sighs in awe and sneaks to take a picture at the cuddling girls. "Alright, wake up, sleepyheads. Kara, you have Meet and Greet in an hour, better get ready."

Kara grumbles and carries Lena to her own bunk and tucks her in before following Alex back to the venue. Alex keeps on sneaking glances here and there at Kara while they're walking back into the building, the singer ignores it.

Almost half-way of the show, Kara spots Lena standing next to Alex on the floor next to the stage, wearing shades. She smiles to herself, feeling a boost of energy surges through her. She's happy because Lena is back in her life and she's going to be unapologetic for it. To hell with what the future holds and the consequences, she's ready.

She didn't cry while singing Be Alright that night.

She waves goodbye to her fans, saying her gratitude to them for showing up and for supporting her and that it means the world for her. She's bombarded with the crew the moment she steps back behind the stage, one offering a small towel to wipe her sweats, one trying to take off her comm piece, one trying to usher her back into the changing room to get out of her stage outfit and clean up. She only takes a little glance at Lena who's waving at her to do her responsibilities first before talking to her. Kara pouts at that.

After what feels like an hour, Kara runs back into her tour bus finding Lena sitting on the lounge with a book in her hands.

"Hey." Kara pants.

"Hi, you." Lena smiles.

"Um... so, did you enjoy the show?"

"I did." 

"Good, that's great." The blonde says, scratching her neck nervously.

"You were great up there, as always," Lena adds.

"Oh?"

"Don't be surprised. Of course, I'm up to date to what you're doing. From the news, that is."

"Wow, I... don't know what to say." Kara laughs awkwardly. "But it feels good to know that."

"Good." Lena pats the space next to her, motioning Kara to sit down. "Listen, I've thought about what you said and this time I promise myself I won't run away, not anymore. I'm gonna face my problems, but I'm gonna need you through it. I'm not familiar with the baggage I'm about to open, not anymore, so I need someone I can fully trust to lean on."

"And I'm here for you, Lena, always." Kara smiles tearfully. _Finally_.

"Thank you, Kara. It saddens me, even more, knowing you still have my back after all this time, after what I've done to you. And I so regret it ever since. I promise I'll make it up to you." Lena sobs quietly.

"You don't have to do anything for me, Peanut. We just focus on bettering you for now." Kara chuckles.

"Ugh, I haven't heard that nickname in forever." Lena rolls her eyes.

"My Peanut." Kara laughs even harder.

"Yeah, yeah, enjoy it all you want. I'll get you back one day."

"You keep saying that."

"Ugh."

"You secretly love it." The blonde smirks and cocks an eyebrow at the ravenette.

"I don't." Lena scoffs.

"You so do." Kara starts mocking by now.

"I do not."

"Uhuh."

"I hate you." Lena rolls her eyes and gets up to go to her bunk.

"Wait, no, I'm sorry." Kara pulls Lena by the wrist, making her stumble back and fall on her butt on the blonde's lap. "Oops."

"Bet you're enjoying this, huh, Danvers?" This time it's Lena's turn to raise her brow and Kara hates to admit it, but it truly does things to her.

"What? No, I do not!" Kara pushes her, making her sit next to her again.

"I was teasing you, jeez." Lena rolls her eyes again. "But, really, we should rest. It's been quite the day."

"Okay, you go first, I'll just wait for Alex."

***

"You have absolutely gone insane," Alex whispers.

"No, hear me out, Alex."

"No, you told me this a thousand times. I don't need another explanation. Why can't you just admit you still love her?" Alex sighs.

"I can't." Kara slumps in her seat. "You know that."

"Is it the public image you're worried about? Are you afraid that _we_ will judge you?" Alex sits down next to her sister, a hand on Kara's upper back.

"Public image? No. You, Eliza, and our friends? A little bit. I'm more worried about her." 

"Okay, elaborate."

"I just don't think it's good for her right now. With all of her baggage, her mother on her back, the public. I don't wanna add on those."

"You do know the public knows she the good out of her whole family, right?"

"Yes, but don't you think it's better to clean up her mess first before I dive back in? Besides, I'll be there for her. And until she's ready for that, for us, I reckon we'll talk about it, eventually."

"Yeah, your eventually can be a thousand light-years from now. Good luck with that." Alex chuckles.

"Rude." Kara rolls her eyes and playfully shoves the redhead.

"What? I'm not rude. I just know the dynamics between you two. So, it's no surprise, really. You two will be dancing around it and not jump into it, flirting 'til the other gets so flustered and makes a fool of herself. Yeah, that's you and Lena, alright."

"Hey!" Kara gasps.

Alex just looks at her with that yeah-right-look and Kara pouts. "It's getting late, let's go sleep, lover girl." Alex snickers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for neglecting this story, guys. I've been busy with study, work, and basically just life in general. So, I hope you guys would understand and be patient with me. And if I do upload one-shots here and there, that's just my brain getting obsessed with a prompt. Thank you for the support, truly.


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